Laugh and sigh, kiss and goodbye, that's our whole life.
*Jerome Klapka Jerome*
Now you're criticizing everyone.
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "Press On" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
When Bankei was preaching at Ryumon temple, a Shinshu priest, who believed in salvation through the repitition of the name of the Buddha of Love, was jealous of his large audience and wanted to debate with him.
Bankei was in the midst of a talk when the priest appeared, but the fellow made such a disturbance that bankei stopped his discourse and asked about the noise.
"The founder of our sect," boasted the priest, "had such miraculous powers that he held a brush in his hand on one bank of the river, his attendant held up a paper on the other bank, and the teacher wrote the holy name of Amida through the air. Can you do such a wonderful thing?"
Bankei replied lightly: "Perhaps your fox can perform that trick, but that is not the manner of Zen. My miracle is that when I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel thirsty I drink."
*Collection of Stone and Sand, #80, The Real Miracle*
Don't let mistakes be so monumental, and
Don't let your love be so confidential, and
Don't let your mind be so darn judgmental
And please let your heart be more influential
*Michael Franti, C. Young*
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
(Bruce) The morning of the game, I opened the curtains of my hotel room, and oh my god, it was like a scene from Mobdy Dick... The rain... would not relent...
Don: Put me on the phone with Prince.
Don: Now, I want you to know it's raining.
Prince: Yes, it's raining.
Don: And are you okay?
Prince: Can you make it rain harder?
(Bruce) And I was like, right on!
*Conversation between Don Misher and Prince, as told by Bruce Rodgers, Prince Performs “Purple Rain” During Downpour, Super Bowl XLI Halftime Show, NFL*
"Rock over London, Rock on Chicago."
Wesley Willis, Rock And Roll McDonalds
"The balloon, to be sure, went up; but what is a balloon without a pony?"
Morning Chronicle, August 16, 1828
"Oh Jackie's good!" It's not good, you can do it. Except, do you have the patience or not?
One ant is no ant.
*E. O. Wilson*
In God we trust. All others must bring data.
*W. Edwards Deming*
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Strive to make proposed solutions as self-executing as possible. As the degree of discretion increases, so too does bureaucracy, delay, and expense.
Do little, and do it slowly.
*Antonio de Mendoza*
I desire the responsibility of nobody's dullness but my own.
Laziness - The quality that makes you go to great effort to reduce overall energy expenditure. It makes you write labor-saving programs that other people will find useful, and document what you wrote so you don't have to answer so many questions about it. Hence, the first great virtue of a programmer.
Impatience - The anger you feel when the computer is being lazy. This makes you write programs that don't just react to your needs, but actually anticipate them. Or at least that pretend to. Hence, the second great virtue of a programmer.
Hubris - Excessive pride, the sort of thing Zeus zaps you for. Also the quality that makes you write (and maintain) programs that other people won't want to say bad things about. Hence, the third great virtue of a programmer.
They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and sit at your table.
But I say XXXX that.
When opportunity knocks, you should take it captive.
Pull out the four four magnum, hit it upside the XXXXing head, tell him to get down in the basement.
Beat that XXXX down.
I've got opportunity with duct tape around his XXXXing mouth in my basement right now.
He ain't never going no where.
And if you keep quiet for a second, you can hear the mother XXXXer moaning and groaning down there right now.
*Tracy Morgan, from The Adventures of Soul Clap Podcast, Episode 75, G$ aka G-Moaney and Tracey Morgan in The New Black*
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
If the problem you are trying to solve involves creating a magnum opus, you are solving the wrong problem.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
*Franklin P. Jones*
In the late 19th century Evanston, Illinois, nicknamed "Heavenston" by Frances Willard, was a Methodist-minded town, so pious that the town fathers, resenting the dissipating influence of the soda fountain, passed an ordinance forbidding the sale of ice cream sodas on Sunday. Some ingenious confectioners, obeying the law, served ice cream with syrup but no soda. This sodaless soda was the Sunday soda, and became so popular that orders for "Sundays" crossed the counter everyday of the week. When objection was raised to christening the dish after the Sabbath, the spelling was changed to Sundae, and so developed one of America's most characteristic dishes.
*William Lyon Phelps*
Make a list of all the things you hate doing, and stop doing them.
If we attend continually and promptly to the little that we can do, we shall ere long be surprised to find how little remains that we cannot do.
There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.
In business, you don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.
*Chester L. Karrass*
Nobody has things just as he would like them. The thing to do is to make a success with what material I have. It is a sheer waste of time and soulpower to imagine what I would do if things were different. They are not different.
*Dr. Frank Crane*
And maybe you don't go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don't do.
...I am not afraid of falling over the precipice, but of throwing myself over.
... get some cups, brew some coffee. When you run out of cups, close the door and go get more cups.
*Giulietta Carrelli retelling advice from her boss on how to open her own coffee shop. This American Life, episode 520, No Place Like Home.*
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
*Antoine de Saint Exupéry*
What kind of legs would you build me?
If you want it, you can have it, but you've got to learn to reach out there and grab it. If you need it, you should show it, cause you might play so monastic that you blow it. Cause everybody wants some, ooh. Something they can barely know. And though my heart will break, there's more that I could take, I could never let it go. If you blew it, don't reject it, just sit drawing up the plans and re-erect it.
*Ray Gilbert, Antonio Carlos Jobim, performed by Weezer*
Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand.
Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the program, so if you write the program as cleverly as you can, by definition, you won’t be clever enough to debug it.
We first throw something little into the skies, then a shipload of instruments, then ourselves.
Thou hast power only to act, not over the result thereof. Act thou therefore without prospect of the result, and without succumbing to inaction.
The greatest performance improvement of all is when a system goes from not-working to working.
A superior pilot uses his superior judgment to avoid situations which require the use of his superior skill.
*Frank Borman, Apollo 8*
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.
When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing?
Don't dream it, be it.
*Tim Curry as Dr. Frank-N-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show*
Morale is to material as is the ratio of three to one.
We teachers can only help the work going on, as servants wait upon a master.
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
*Henry David Thoreau*
Monkeys go to the jungle.
*Pirahã Tribesman, translated by Dan Everett, from the article The Interpreter, The New Yorker magazine, written by John Colapinto*
Here I sit with a drink and a memory. But I'm not cold, I'm not wet, and I'm not hungry. So classify these as good times. Good times.
If you go in the proper spirit, you are still young enough to profit by your failure.
*Anonymous, from Why I Never Hire Brilliant Men, printed in the February 1924 issue of The American Magazine*
Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but self expect applause: He noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and keeps his self-made laws.
*Sir Richard Francis Burton*
To be governed is to be watched, inspected, spied upon, directed, law-driven, numbered, regulated, enrolled, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, checked, estimated, valued, censured, commanded, by creatures who have neither the right nor the wisdom nor the virtue to do so. To be governed is to be at every operation, at every transaction noted, registered, counted, taxed, stamped, measured, numbered, assessed, licensed, authorised, admonished, prevented, forbidden, reformed, corrected, punished. It is, under pretext of public utility, and in the name of the public interest, to be placed under contribution, drilled, fleeced, exploited, monopolised, extorted from, squeezed, hoaxed, robbed; then, at the slightest resistance, the first word of complaint, to be repressed, fined, vilified, harassed, hunted down, abused, clubbed, disarmed, bound, choked, imprisoned, judged, condemned, shot, deported, sacrificed, sold, betrayed; and to crown all, mocked, ridiculed, derided, outraged, dishonoured. That is government; that is its justice; that is its morality.
*Pierre Joseph Proudhon*
Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better.
People may say I can’t sing, but no one can ever say I didn't sing.
*Florence Foster Jenkins*
Ninety percent of science fiction is crap, but then ninety percent of everything is crap.
*Theodore Sturgeon's Law*
My act consists of my gown that I carry and two spotlights and a microphone.
This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space. If it starts pointing toward space you are having a bad problem and you will not go to space today.
*XKCD, Up Goer Five*
If you haven't already done so, please do so at this time.
*Southwest Airlines Flight Attendant*
Answer them [critics] with silence and indifference. It works better, I assure you, than anger and argument.
I'm okay; the bull is dead.
*Gopal K. Kapur's son Raj*
To foresee is to rule.
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
*Wernher von Braun*
An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.
*Pliny The Elder*
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
*Henry David Thoreau*
A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
Thrice happy you, whose walls already rise!
*Virgil, from the Aeneid*
How beggarly appear arguments before a defiant deed!
Nine people can't make a baby in a month.
I think one's feelings waste themselves in words, they ought all to be distilled into actions, and into actions which bring results.
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
No problem is too small or too trivial if we can really do something about it. You say you are a nameless man. You are not to your wife and to your child. You will not long remain so to your immediate colleagues if you can answer their simple questions when they come into your office. You are not nameless to me.
*Richard P. Feynman*