The Onion Gianforte Wins Special Election 2017-05-26T14:42:00.000000000-05:00 Republican candidate Greg Gianforte has won Montana’s special House election only 24 hours after allegedly assaulting a reporter, an incident for which Gianforte has now apologized. What do you think? Best Sports Stadiums 2017-05-26T14:34:00.000000000-05:00 As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time. Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School 2017-05-26T12:43:00.000000000-05:00 DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School. “It was such an honor to have Bo Obama encouraging these fresh... President Trump Has Enacted The ‘Theseus Protocol’: What Does That Mean For America? 2017-05-26T09:06:00.000000000-05:00 The documents referred to in this editorial are part of a trove of classified files provided to The Onion by an anonymous whistleblower in the White House. All of these documents can be found here.While there is much to find concerning in the collection of White House files that The Onion has obt... Empty Wall Behind Couch Falls Into Girlfriend’s Crosshairs 2017-05-26T08:32:00.000000000-05:00 ATLANTA—Zeroing in with laser focus on the far side of the apartment, area woman Jess Macindoe placed the wall behind her boyfriend’s couch squarely in her crosshairs, sources confirmed Friday. Macindoe, whose pupils reportedly dilated at the unadorned white space as she prepared to act, sized up... MSNBC Most Popular Cable News Network 2017-05-26T00:00:00.000000000-05:00 After trailing its competitors for years, MSNBC just marked its first week ever as the most watched cable news network, with CNN second and Fox News third. What do you think? Empty Wall Behind Couch Falls Into Girlfriend’s Crosshairs 2017-05-26T00:00:00.000000000-05:00 ATLANTA—Zeroing in with laser focus on the far side of the apartment, area woman Jess Macindoe placed the wall behind her boyfriend’s couch squarely in her crosshairs, sources confirmed Friday. Macindoe, whose pupils reportedly dilated at the unadorned white space as she prepared to act, sized up... Dave & Buster’s Opens New Fine Dining, Gaming Outpost David & Benedict’s 2017-05-25T15:20:00.000000000-05:00 DALLAS—In a bold move marking its first foray into the luxury market, restaurant and video arcade chain Dave & Buster’s announced Thursday the opening of David & Benedict’s, a new fine dining and gaming outpost in the Napa Valley region of Northern California.According to company spokespe... ‘The Onion’ Invites Republican Candidate Greg Gianforte To Physically Assault Our Entire Editorial Staff 2017-05-25T14:34:00.000000000-05:00 Given the important policies they oversee and the highly public nature of their work, it is to be expected that our government officials will at times come into conflict with the press, especially amid the tense political circumstances in which we now find ourselves. And it is not unusual for the... Instagram Worst Social Network For Mental Health 2017-05-25T13:42:00.000000000-05:00 A study of social media sites found that Instagram had the most negative influence on users’ mental health. What do you think?